The Pendulum Swings Hard!

At work, my colleagues and I sometimes refer to the cyclical nature of the business climate in terms of a swinging pendulum. A pendulum swings with perfect regularity. It swings from one extreme to the other – passing the averaged midpoint at its peak velocity, only to slow down again, stop at the other extreme, and begin the journey in the other direction. Go through enough of these various cycles in the business world and you learn to handle the extremes in stride, realizing that over the long haul the cyclical nature results in a predictable average.

Unfortunately my health outlook – and subsequent mental state - has been going through a vicious swinging cycle of its own. Consider this…

High point: July 22, 2007. Cashing in my life’s peak fitness at Ironman USA
Low point: December 10, 2007. Inducing ventricular tachycardia during a doctor-ordered hospital stress test.
High point: January 14, 2008. After a series of tests, getting cleared by a cardiologist to resume training as normal.
Low point: January 21, 2008. Receiving news from an electro-physiologist that my triathlon training “career” might be over unless I consider an ablation procedure (http://www.americanheart.org/presenter.jhtml?identifier=4682). She prescribes daily aspirin to prevent stroke.

So much for “All Systems Go!” Potentially compromising my family’s welfare through surgical complications (i.e. death), however low they might be, is serious business. With a family to feed, is surgical risk worth taking for the sake of personal satisfaction through triathlon training? It actually sounds silly to read it out loud.

My outlook has had its own highs and lows…

High thoughts: This is an opportunity. Good thing we caught this before it became more dangerous. I’m being called to do something new. I can still lead a healthy life. More time on my hands to coach sports, develop musical abilities, etc.
Low thoughts: Lots of whining, jealousy, and envy at the loss of my unique lifestyle. A lost sense of purpose.

Powerful lessons can be learned through painful or extreme circumstances. The most thankful folks I know – those with the best perspective on life – have generally lived and learned through personally traumatic events. In my case, could there be a better way for me to overcome my desire to control than to completely lose it over my chosen lifestyle? I try to tell myself – the pain, the anxiety – they’re necessary variables in the growth equation.

I’ll be meeting with the E-P again this coming week. I have a lot of questions. I hope she has some answers.